Bitches seriously annoy me now. You know, the ones that have no problem leeching off of you, having their friends pay for them and always acting like a broke bitch? Yea those hoes. Like honestly if you can’t even act out as a good friend quit wondering why people don’t talk to u for long. All that moody bitter shit makes others just as miserable as you are. I can’t stand when shit always has to go someone elses way. What the fuck kind of friend is that. Eww and people who think that others are jockin’ off their style. No homie, nobody jocked shit, you aren’t a trend setter. Matter of a fact you jock off errbodyyyssss style so quit talking!!! Sad to say but act like a damn normal person instead of acting like someone you are not. Quit judging others when you can’t even make out to be a good person yourself. I can’t stand when people think that you have to equally do shit to be considered “friends”. Dude friends don’t trip over dumb high school bullshit like that. Non fucken sense

At the rate i am going i won’t get over you anytime soon. I don’t know how you can’t see that its hard to be friends if i can’t stop loving you the way i did when we were together. If you can tell me to let go or to move on just like that, is it because you want to move on. I guess being in you’re arms just once again broke me into a million pieces because i know you won’t be there every other day. I can’t pull myself together, when i should really understand that just because you care and worry its not enough to be with me anymore. I will let go if i have to but just know i’m not moving on to find someone better or anyone at all. I’m so tired of getting blown off and realizing that all the wrong you’ve done, you just don’t care to acknowledge it. Its hard going through this everyday because i really don’t have anyone and when you used to rely on you’re boyfriend to be there, once you break up you don’t know who to go to or who to run to. I cry everyday just thinking about you, but i just can’t do it anymore. If you have felt like you haven’t lost anything then idk why the hell you didn’t move on the moment you told me to forget about you.

You know what annoys me? People who beat around the bush, people who lie and talk shit everywhere else but around you. Stupid little bitches that are seniors in high school really have that much time in their life to hate? Grow the fuck up, nobody cares about you. Freal if you have something to say or you got a problem i’ll deal with it. Bitches act like i’m supposed to be scared, i’ve seen, done, gone through shit ya’ll little bitches don’t know nothing about. Like honestly how are you gonna go tell my homegirl you don’t like me and shit but spit up a little conversation with me when you had seen me. Lol if you didn’t like me and i had known, you swear like i’d even talk to yo nasty ass. Oh to top that off you couldn’t come to my face and tell me you didn’t like me. Have a firm reason bitch or don’t hate and not be able to back your shit up homegirl. Funny thing is i hear you won’t admit the shit you said about me nor will you man up if i was to see you and call you out on it. Stupid bitch!

Tomorrow would mark our two year anniversary. I think the hardest part of this break up is how it happened a little before we were supposed to celebrate another year together. All the lies and fabricated shit came in a package. I really hate holidays as is but i feel a lot more emotional that its going to be spent alone. I’ve given up on trying or attempting to talk to him, because i didn’t get much in return. If he feels exactly the way he supposedly says he feels he could come and talk to me, but to talk about caring, loving, being faithful, missing someone and not doing shit about it doesn’t at all make what you say sound true.

(via w0rds-i-neverr-saidd)

The feeling is coming back. I go a few days trying to get better then i get this feeling where i want to talk to him and be in his arms, its almost like i keep forgetting the wrong he’s done. I really don’t know why i feel all this pain when he probably doesn’t feel the half of it. I dont know what kind of mess i’ve gotten myself into but i should know better than to let anyone fuck with my emotions. I feel pretty down right now and i know no matter what he couldn’t grow any balls to speak to me if he wanted to. Ughh

I miss having a best friend and a boyfriend all in one, i miss being able to talk about my day and sharing my thoughts and feelings. I really am trying to feel okay about being alone all over again and keeping myself up, but reality is that i can’t let go even though i know that i was done wrong. I probably deserve so much better but being the person i am, i don’t think i’m better than anyone and it effects me a lot that someone i was with for so long can’t open their eyes to see what they had in front of them and to put blame and act like they don’t give a shit about someone really does get to me. I hate that i’m suffering when on their end they act like their life is just fine and they block out everything that has gone wrong. I really despise being there for people who don’t give a shit about me.